[ He goes weak at the knees, moving away in a half-turn, palms pressed against his face. Perhaps it was stupid to cling to a sliver of hope he should have never had in the first place, but it's yanked away from him all the same, and 9S doesn't want to face the facts.
This can't actually be happening. ]
No, no, no—goddammit.
[ What little composure he managed to maintain falls, and it's the first time all day that the reality of their situation has finally dawned upon him. ]
[She watches him turn away from her, hears the pain in his voice and remembers it from before, watching him collapse from her vantage point above 2B.
It was worse to watch up close. Worse still because she is in no state to comfort, has no idea what to say, and doesn't have the right to say anything.
She can't just watch this, she thinks. She pulls herself up from the ground but does not make a move to get any closer.]
9S...
[She can't say it was going to be okay, because it wasn't going to be okay. She can't tell him that it was better this way, because she knew that wasn't true either. Empty sentiment, empty promises. 2B was gone in Akvos, in this world, in their world. She could not promise him that she would return.]
[ He continues to utter to himself with more pleads and begs, anything that would mean this nightmare scenario is as fake as everything they witnessed within that damn rift the so-called princess insisted they venture into. But she's gone, too. He has no one to blame, this time; no one to hold accountable. ]
What am I supposed to do? [ Is he actually asking her? It's hard to tell. ] This wasn't supposed to happen.
[She considers how to answer, thinking that he can't be asking her of all people for comfort but wanting to try to give it anyway.
There is no one and nothing to blame for this. This is what makes the entire situation so sad, the utter pointlessness of returning 2B and then taking her away.
A2 thinks of this. Then she says something she has not said before, not to him, though she should have.]
[ His hands finally fall, as do his shoulders, head hanging, silent. ]
A2...
[ In the face of her apology, he doesn't know what to do. Brush her off? What was the point of that anymore? She's never lied, never been deceitful; in the end, she never was different from any other from YoRHa. Mustering any lingering anger toward her was a senseless endeavor, though it's a small favor he doesn't have it in him to will that much.
It wouldn't mean anything if he did, anyway.
So he trails off, and eventually shakes his head. ]
No—no. You wouldn't.
[ A halfhearted observation of a mere fact. Who would have an answer? The only one was nothing. They're utterly powerless, and 9S has never felt weaker. ]
[It's a small concession, barely anything at all, but she allows herself to relax in the midst of it. Maybe it's a mistake, he'll change his mind, decide she is to blame. Just to blame someone.
But for now...
Maybe she can allow herself to feel relieved, almost.]
2B...
[She debates among herself, on what to say. What to do.]
[ Be a good person. She wanted him to live on, too, like that was supposed to be possible after losing everything the first time around. The second time, 9S just feels numb; he's known for a long time now she was willing to die so he no longer would be burdened with her presence, and only continued to feel unworthy even after their miraculous reunion.
She'd promised to stay with him this time, but is this an outcome she would have wanted again?
9S turns away, back toward A2, letting out little more than a slow, wavering exhale. ]
[What is she supposed to say to that? It had been her existence for so long, what she sees mirrored in him now. The desire to destroy yourself, to leave nothing because you meant nothing. To know you were expendable, that your efforts were in vain. What was the point? She's never been able to figure it out. Living on, when everything else around you was dead.
What was the point of it? A2 thinks of the children in Akvos swallowed up in blackness, and being unable to help them. Thinks of the androids wracked with the virus, and being unable to help them either. So many dying. So many dead. She could not put a number to it. But she thinks of 2B too, imparting her will and desire for 9S to live when she could not. Knowing the pointlessness of this too, and yet...
Wanting to hope that it would somehow turn out better.]
You have to.
[Is what she says, finally. She straightens up, infuses her voice with purpose. So often she is defeated in speaking to him, knowing the end result before the conversation has even run its aborted course. But this is the first time she cannot see the end of it, and it's this that makes her keep talking.] I know it feels pointless, but you deserve —
[You deserve to live like a person, that man had told her. She didn't think it for herself...she was a ghost now, nothing that should have existed for this long. 9S was different.] You deserve to have a chance. You have a chance. 2B thought so.
[ 9S freezes, every little movement of his coming to a startled halt.
Then, like a belated response, he whips back around, teeth grit and moments away from biting back—you don't know what the hell you're talking about, he wants to say, but ultimately doesn't. That'd be wrong; she... does. After all, he's standing before an android that should have died alongside the rest of her comrades, who lost it all, who killed others if it meant her continued existence.
Maybe that just makes her stronger than him.
Whatever the reason, 9S' tenseness falls as quickly as it came, gaze falling back downward, replaced with a tiredness in his demeanor and hollowness in his voice: ]
I wouldn't have thought you as someone who took oaths this much to heart.
[She waits for his outburst, expecting it, bracing for it like a physical blow, but...it doesn't. He concedes, though it brings her little pleasure to see, only a muted sort of surprise.
He's lost so much, she thinks. How difficult it was to stand when you had nothing left to hate. She's known this for a long time.
She keeps her gaze on him. The implied question is not lost on her, though she isn't sure how to answer it.]
[ He neither looks up nor nods when 9S gives his simple, empty response. ]
Yeah.
[ They're finished here. And, frankly, he would rather be alone than listen to A2 further explain why he should bother keeping his chin up. 9S waits for no response from her; silently, he turns again, and heads back off. ]
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[ He goes weak at the knees, moving away in a half-turn, palms pressed against his face. Perhaps it was stupid to cling to a sliver of hope he should have never had in the first place, but it's yanked away from him all the same, and 9S doesn't want to face the facts.
This can't actually be happening. ]
No, no, no—goddammit.
[ What little composure he managed to maintain falls, and it's the first time all day that the reality of their situation has finally dawned upon him. ]
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It was worse to watch up close. Worse still because she is in no state to comfort, has no idea what to say, and doesn't have the right to say anything.
She can't just watch this, she thinks. She pulls herself up from the ground but does not make a move to get any closer.]
9S...
[She can't say it was going to be okay, because it wasn't going to be okay. She can't tell him that it was better this way, because she knew that wasn't true either. Empty sentiment, empty promises. 2B was gone in Akvos, in this world, in their world. She could not promise him that she would return.]
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What am I supposed to do? [ Is he actually asking her? It's hard to tell. ] This wasn't supposed to happen.
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There is no one and nothing to blame for this. This is what makes the entire situation so sad, the utter pointlessness of returning 2B and then taking her away.
A2 thinks of this. Then she says something she has not said before, not to him, though she should have.]
...
I'm sorry. I...about everything.
I wish I had an answer for you.
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A2...
[ In the face of her apology, he doesn't know what to do. Brush her off? What was the point of that anymore? She's never lied, never been deceitful; in the end, she never was different from any other from YoRHa. Mustering any lingering anger toward her was a senseless endeavor, though it's a small favor he doesn't have it in him to will that much.
It wouldn't mean anything if he did, anyway.
So he trails off, and eventually shakes his head. ]
No—no. You wouldn't.
[ A halfhearted observation of a mere fact. Who would have an answer? The only one was nothing. They're utterly powerless, and 9S has never felt weaker. ]
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But for now...
Maybe she can allow herself to feel relieved, almost.]
2B...
[She debates among herself, on what to say. What to do.]
She wanted you to be a good person.
You made her happy. Try not to forget that.
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She'd promised to stay with him this time, but is this an outcome she would have wanted again?
9S turns away, back toward A2, letting out little more than a slow, wavering exhale. ]
There's no point if she's gone.
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What was the point of it? A2 thinks of the children in Akvos swallowed up in blackness, and being unable to help them. Thinks of the androids wracked with the virus, and being unable to help them either. So many dying. So many dead. She could not put a number to it. But she thinks of 2B too, imparting her will and desire for 9S to live when she could not. Knowing the pointlessness of this too, and yet...
Wanting to hope that it would somehow turn out better.]
You have to.
[Is what she says, finally. She straightens up, infuses her voice with purpose. So often she is defeated in speaking to him, knowing the end result before the conversation has even run its aborted course. But this is the first time she cannot see the end of it, and it's this that makes her keep talking.] I know it feels pointless, but you deserve —
[You deserve to live like a person, that man had told her. She didn't think it for herself...she was a ghost now, nothing that should have existed for this long. 9S was different.] You deserve to have a chance. You have a chance. 2B thought so.
...I do too.
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Then, like a belated response, he whips back around, teeth grit and moments away from biting back—you don't know what the hell you're talking about, he wants to say, but ultimately doesn't. That'd be wrong; she... does. After all, he's standing before an android that should have died alongside the rest of her comrades, who lost it all, who killed others if it meant her continued existence.
Maybe that just makes her stronger than him.
Whatever the reason, 9S' tenseness falls as quickly as it came, gaze falling back downward, replaced with a tiredness in his demeanor and hollowness in his voice: ]
I wouldn't have thought you as someone who took oaths this much to heart.
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He's lost so much, she thinks. How difficult it was to stand when you had nothing left to hate. She's known this for a long time.
She keeps her gaze on him. The implied question is not lost on her, though she isn't sure how to answer it.]
...I'm not anything without an oath.
[Is what she says, finally.]
You should head back.
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Yeah.
[ They're finished here. And, frankly, he would rather be alone than listen to A2 further explain why he should bother keeping his chin up. 9S waits for no response from her; silently, he turns again, and heads back off. ]